The sun is shining

The sun is shining. The laundry is mostly caught up. The dishes are also mostly caught up. There is food in the house, and the house is warm. I have good friends who love me, even if they don't understand me all the time. I get to see the faces of most of my children everyday. The children who are not with me, I grieve for deeply, but I need to live for the ones that I still have in my care. Breathing is so hard sometimes when you live under the weight of heavy grief, but the sun is shining. It looks like a good day for a run outdoors.

Background for anyone who does not know me personally:

My daughter, Jennifer is not the only child for whom I grieve.  My 19 month old son, Elliott, died March 14, 2011.  It's just two days away from being 3 years since he passed.  I miss him terribly.  Also, I miss my son, Alexander.  He made some bad choices and is paying the price for them through the juvenile justice system.  I miss these children every minute of every day.